


Corps

by Merit



Category: Old Kingdom - Garth Nix
Genre: Bodyswap, F/M, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-22 09:00:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12478020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merit/pseuds/Merit
Summary: Nick learns some new Charter marks. They all do.





	Corps

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Isis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isis/gifts).



Nick heaved a big sigh as he reached the top of Sam's tower. “Did he really have to have his lab at the top of a tower.”

Lirael turned. She was, he noted, breathing completely normally. And she was awfully close, he could see the darker flecks in her eyes, a string of freckles across her nose, almost faded out. He shifted awkwardly on the stair, breath caught in his throat. It wasn't his fault that the Old Kingdom seemed to have wrecked his lungs.

“Oh I'm not sure he had much choice?” Lirael said, rather quizzically. “There's only so many places where you want to experiment with Charter Magic and Belisaere is a bit crowded. I suppose the docks since they're so far away,” Lirael continued, while Nick wished he had never opened his mouth. “But Sam is a prince and everyone would recognise him.” She shrugged.

He nodded. “I'll ask Sam some time,” he said weakly.

“That would probably be for the best,” Lirael said, turning and knocking on Sam's door. Nick resolved to never open his mouth _again_.

There was no answer for several seconds.

“Maybe he didn't hear you?” Nick said, breaking his promise immediately.

“That sounds a bit like him,” Lirael said, before knocking again. “He does get lost in his studies.”

Nick smiled. “That sounds like old Sam! He always had his nose in a book.”

Lirael peered through her hair. “Sam told me you used to read quite a bit too,” she said hesitantly.

“Oh yes,” Nick said, waving a hand. “But that was most scientific journals and the like. Nothing like that is found in the Old Kingdom,” he grinned brightly at her.

“Yes,” Lirael said and there was more in front of her face. “The Royal Library could be better organised,” Lirael added, in the tone of someone who wanted to say much, much more. “But it was laid to waste during the Interregnum.”

“And then Touchstone became king!” Nick said brightly.

“Yes,” Lirael said. “Did Sam tell you that?”

“Oh we did a little bit of international politics at school and I remember when I was younger my Uncle used to say he preferred it when the Old Kingdom didn't bite back,” Nick said, rolling his shoulders. He was starting to understand some of his Uncle's opponents now.

“I see,” Lirael said, turning and staring at Sam's door. “He usually doesn't leave it locked,” Lirael murmured, reaching for the knob. She opened the door and a flood of golden Charter marks consumed them.

He heard Lirael yelping distantly but he couldn't see her. There was nothing but the Charter and Nick almost wanted to sigh into it and fall away completely.

It was the hair falling into his face that jerked him away from that particular route.

 

 

When Nick opened his eyes again, his face was staring back at him.

He screamed. Manfully. His hands went to his mouth. Anything to stop his humiliation. He hadn't sounded that high pitched since he was _twelve_.

And Nick's face hadn't been that free of stubble since he was fifteen and going through a particularly painful point of puberty.

“What's happening?” He said, very calmly considering the circumstances he thought. “Has Sam used the Charter to de-age me? But kept the old me? Are there two of me? Why didn't anyone warn me this was possible!”

Sam sighed and gave him a long suffering look. Which Nick thought was very rude of him.

“No, nothing of the sort,” Sam said, sharing a glance with the other Nick.

Nick felt he was going to be sick looking at the other Nick. He turned away, focusing on his breathing. And the black hair on his shoulder.

Lirael was no where in sight.

“Where's Lirael?” Nick asked, fighting down the panic, fighting down the urge to scream.

“Well,” said the other Nick. “That's me. But also you.”

“I have a mirror,” Sam said gravely. It was a pretty little thing, quite ornate and Nick was sure one of his dreadful aunts would have loved it.

He held it up to his face. Lirael stared back. She was gaping.

“I see,” Nick said, almost passing the mirror back to Sam before whipping it out of reach. He stared at Lirael's face again. He touched his face. Beyond the mirror, Nick's body looked worried.

“I really wasn't expecting visitors,” Sam said, running a hand through his dark hair.

“We've switched faces,” Nick said, trying to keep the recrimination out of his voice.

Judging from Sam's flinch, he wasn't entirely successful.

“Um. No?” Sam said, looking at the other Nick. “Bodies.” Then he rushed forward, grinning. “It really is rather exciting! I've read so much of the old Wallmaker writings since,” he waved his hand elaborately between the two of them, “But they never mentioned anything like _this_. Of course,” Sam added, rocking back on his heels. “So much has been destroyed in the past thousand years. Maybe they did try it. And it didn't work.” Sam looked contemplative.

Nick closed his eyes.

“Can you fix it?” He said weakly.

“Oh!” Sam said and then paused. “Maybe?”

Nick wanted to die.

“I hate to break this conversation, but I need to - ” Lirael gestured at her midsection. His midsection – Nick really didn't know what to think. Nick stared uncomprehendingly. “I need to relieve myself,” she said in a lower voice.

Nick closed his eyes. He should have never left Ancelstierre. He would have never experienced such a great humiliation as _this_. Being turned by every deb at a ball would have felt insignificant.

“It's just,” Lirael said. Nick opened his eyes and almost winced. It was awful watching his body blush, such an unflattering shade for his complexion. “I've never done it with a male body before.”

Sam was desperately trying to suppress laughter. Nick gave him a narrow look. Who knew his friend was such a traitor. He'd probably planned this embarrassment the moment Nick stepped into the Old Kingdom.

“I can help,” Sam said helpfully.

“It's my body,” Nick growled.

“So you want to – help yourself?”

His ears felt like they were on fire. And Lirael was so pale, he probably looked like a tomato right now. Did they even have tomatoes in the Old Kingdom? They had potatoes. He shook his head.

“I want to be in my own body, Sam,” he ground out.

“Oh, of course,” Sam said, rolling his eyes. “As if I hadn't realised that!”

Lirael looked between the two of them, very grave. Nick was fairly certain he hadn't looked that serious in his entire life.

“I believe I will be able to manage myself,” Lirael said, she reached out, then blinked when her hand met air. She looked over at Nick. “My hair,” she said, shrugging, the top of his cheeks pinking.

 

 

After Lirael had left, Nick gave Sam a death glare.

It didn't help his mood when Sam started laughing. “I'm sorry,” he said, wiping a tear away from his eye, “I've just never seen Lirael so angry! And your eyes almost like my mother's when you're angry. Almost scary,” Sam pondered.

“I'm going to kill you for this,” Nick said quietly. “Slowly. And then scatter your body to the four points of the Old Kingdom.”

“Well I'd rather you didn't,” Sam said. “We usually use a Charter spell to burn the body – so a necromancer can't raise from you from the dead, of course.”

“Of course,” Nick said dully. He couldn't even have petty thoughts of revenge in the Old Kingdom.

“And being part of the Royal and Abhorsen – and I guess the Wallmaker line now?” Sam shrugged the thought of magical bloodlines aside. “My body would be really sought after.”

“For the first time ever,” Nick said, poking his tongue out at Sam.

Sam rolled his eyes dramatically. “Ah yes,” he said drily, “Because you've had so much successful experience here.”

Nick shifted. He had never realised that Sam could be so cruel. He sniffed, turning his head away.

“Hey,” Sam said, moving closer and putting a hand on Nick's shoulder. “It'll get better. If I can't fix it, then I'm sure my mother or father will be able to help. Or one of the powerful Charter Mages. Or maybe even the Clayr!”

At the thought of so many people knowing he was in Lirael's body, Nick swallowed. “I really hope it doesn't come to that,” he said thickly.

“Either way I'll have a great article for the _Journal of Charter Influenced Transformations_ ,” Sam said, patting his shoulder.

Nick sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It was surprisingly soothing. He continued stroking his hair.

“Please don't do that,” Lirael said, returning to the two of them with a pained look on her face.

Nick's hand jerked away. “Um. But you just,” he gestured to his midsection Lirael's midsection. He didn't know what to think.

Lirael paled, looking off into the distance. “I'd prefer not to talk about it,” she said quietly, looking down and biting her lip.

Nick tried not to feel utterly crushed. Or at least not show his feelings in his face. Judging from the way Sam was whistling air through his teeth, he was not entirely successful.

“You will swap our bodies,” Nick said, clenching his fist. He started when he felt metal. He raised his hand, Lirael's golden hand glinting off the pale sun. Lirael gave him a nervous stare which just looked odd on his face.

“It is a bit odd but you'll get to used to it,” Lirael said hurriedly.

Behind her, Sam met his gaze and doubled over. He looked like he wanted to burst.

Nick gritted his teeth in a simulacrum of a smile and promised revenge.


End file.
